Donna Barnes is a New York University Certified Life and Relationship Coach.  

She has been an on-air Relationship Expert for ABC News 

hosted by Emmy winner John Quinones.

She guest starred in episode 7
of VH-1's Rock of Love Charm School 
hosted by Sharon Osbourne.  

You may have previously seen her on 
Good Morning America, CNN, CBS's Early Show,
Fox News, The Morning Show w/ Mike & Juliet,
Fuse, Late Show with David Letterman
NBC's Today Show and The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch just to name a few.   

All your relationships that didn't work out have one thing in common. . . 


Fortunately, you are the 
one person you have the ability to change.

You have the power to get the man you want . . . 
(or the woman you want)
you just need to learn how to use it!

 TV Dating & Relationship Coach Donna Barnes
Know How to Make Men Fall Head Over Heels for You

Know How to Keep A Man and Achieve Happily Ever After

Know What Men Really Want

Know How to Recognize and Stop Destructive Dating Habits

Know How to Spot Red Flags Specifically Personalized for You 
(Email Support Included)

Know How to Make Smarter Choices

Know How to Stop Giving Your Power Away

Know How to Distinguish True Love From True Lust

Know How to Improve Your Primary Long-Term Relationship: 
The One With Yourself!


What Do You Want?

I truly believe that dating is All About You!  And that's great news, because it means if you're not happy with your dating situation...YOU have the power to change it!   

My e-book It's All About You! will show you how to start taking action toward the relationship of your dreams!  It’s all about your choices, your actions, your thoughts and feelings.  Energy is contagious, and like attracts like.  What kind of energy are you radiating?

I will help you decide EXACTLY what you want and need in a relationship.  That means helping you identify your past patterns (trust me you have them) and creating a set of personal rules to guide you through picking a better partner.  No game playing involved!  I'll show you how to stop giving away your power and how to truly love yourself!  

In addition to my training, I have twenty years of personal dating experience and I'm now blessed to enjoy a completely healthy, incredibly happy true partnership with a wonderful man who's the love of my life.  I want to help you find the same romantic bliss! 

Originally  $24.95
Get "It's All About You" 
Now on Kindle 
Photo by Ron Rinaldi

How to Talk to a New Boyfriend -- powered by
Donna is also one of the experts on &  She shared some of her advice from It's All About You! in each of her one minute clips.  

This clip is about How to Talk to A New Boyfriend:
It's All About You! is written to women to help them understand what men want.  But it's primarily about maintaining your power which Men need to do too.  What's most important for everyone is to love yourself first.  No one else can truly love you until you truly love yourself.     
It's All About You!  Will Teach both Women & Men:
How to Maintain Your Power!

Your thoughts, emotions and actions are your power.  Maintaining and using your power properly is the key to finding and keeping a happy, healthy relationship.  You have the power!  You can change your situation without needing anything from anyone else.  It’s all about you!  When you truly accept that the only person you can and need to change is you, you’ll find happiness.     

What Boundaries Are...And Why They're So Important!

To try to put it simply, knowing your inner feelings, wants, needs and limits; and fulfilling and enforcing them without hurting others, is what healthy boundaries are all about.  That means finding your true self and protecting it, no matter what, without needing anyone else’s approval.  Without healthy boundaries your life and relationships are certain to have problems.  

It's All About You! will give you a check list to help identify what boundaries you're missing.  You'll learn how too enforce proper boundaries and take care of you, so you can function in a healthy relationship.  And you can attract, and recognize a healthy partner.        

How to Discover Your True Self!

Your true self is your inner thoughts & emotions.  Before you can protect your true self you have to know what it is.  It's All About You! will help you discover your individual emotional, physical and sexual needs, desires and limits; and show you how to never compromise them. 

How You Are What You Think You Are!

Whatever you’re thinking or feeling about yourself on the inside will be the energy you project on the outside.  You are what you think you are.  And therefore what everyone else thinks you are too.  

Your thoughts create your feelings.  Then your feelings cause you to act.  Or react.  Your actions produce your results.  So if you want a different result, it really is as simple as changing your thinking.  Of course I realize that’s easier said than done.  It's All About You! will show you how.   

How to Prevent Fear From Destroying Your Relationships!

Fear is the root of all relationship evils.  There is fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy, fear of commitment, fear of change, fear of rejection, fear of failure, and fear of success.  Everyone has fear on some level.  We develop it in our childhood.  But as an adult you have to become skilled at controlling your fears.  If you don’t it will surface in your relationships, and cause you to act in destructive ways.    

When you succumb to your fears by taking insecure action, the result is usually what you fear most.  You push your partner away and they leave you.  But when you're empowered you choose to face your fears and accept responsibility for them.  It's All   About You! will help you gain wisdom to make your relationships better.   

How to Build Self-Esteem!

If you don’t truly feel lovable how can you possibly believe or trust anyone who says they love you?  Low self-esteem goes hand-in-hand with fear as the root of many relationship issues.  And it's present in epic proportions.  It's All About You! will help you truly love yourself and develop high self-esteem.   

How to Break Your Pattern of Choosing the Wrong Partners!

Perhaps you feel like you’ve been dating many different kinds of people, that you have no real pattern.  Well, it may look that way on the surface, but upon closer examination I think you’ll see they all share certain criteria.  We all have patterns.  And without making a conscious effort to change your pattern you will keep attracting and choosing the same type of partners.  Therefore you’ll keep getting the same result…relationships that don’t work.  So it makes sense that you might believe that all relationships have problems.  But you don't have to settle for a relationship that is anything less than wonderful.  I promise, if you change your pattern you can have a better, and healthier relationship!  

How to Communicate Effectively!

Communication is one of three vital elements that comprise a healthy relationship.  It's largely about how effectively you express your feelings.  Your delivery makes all the difference.  Poor communication that uses drama and manipulation will destroy love and leave you lonely.  But with the right tools and a little practice, you can find true love and happiness.  

I'll give you guidelines for emailing and texting too!

How to Fight Fair!

Sometimes it takes a good argument to get important issues out on the table to be worked out.  But if you allow a disagreement to escalate into a dramatic fight, it will ultimately cause a break-up.  So it’s essential to play fair with a powerful set of rules to make your relationship stronger. 

Expert Village Video: Common Relationship Problems!
How to Handle the First Date

When to Bring Sex into a Relationship

When the Grass Can be Greener

How Your Imagination Can Be Your Enemy

Thoughts on what makes your book so great- it is different:
1. This book starts off with words on how to look within myself, empower myself, it is difficult when you read a book and it is all about how to "fix" a relationship. That's great, but we all know that when we need to solve problems, we need to look at the root of the problem, or at least try to find the root of the problem. So it would not be fair in life to immediately look outward, we need to look inward first and this really is the first book that allows us as women to look  within first, and make sure we are ok inside, THEN we move on to the outside...
2. It is NOT about rules. I am tired of reading about "rules". I want to be MYSELF, but improved. I don't want to remember  attitudes or tactics or expressions to get someone to love me. I want someone to love me for me - quirks and all!
3. This book is NOT about men, how to read them, what they are about-it is about the relationship as a whole. It is not about "decoding" the males species, like some of those complicated books. It gives women a view of how to look into relationships from a realistic stand point. It's about how to make the relationship work as a whole, NOT how to spend your days and nights decoding men....
4. It has exercises. I love exercises - we all know that we need to engage ourselves when we are learning, and Donna adds some exercises in this ebook- and I loved them!
5. It was so easy to read.  I couldn't stop reading it because it was a fun, flirty, and yet an educational resource - this is a book where I could take some of its great tips and  share them with friends at a dinner party.
6. It was in layman's terms. It was not filled with theories, or ideas, or hypothesis, it was real. Just the real deal.
7. The best point I took away? No matter how bad you may think something is, we ALWAYS have the POWER to make ourselves happy again. That was an important message, a feel good message, and I am able to apply this to anything!

K.A.   32 Year Old Female, New York

Dear Friend,

If you're not happy with your romantic situation...YOU have the power to change it! You don't have to rely on fate or luck to bring you the perfect man.  And you don't have to settle for the wrong man because the good ones always leave.  You can get and keep a wonderful man!  (Or woman!)   

My name is Donna Barnes.  As a dating and relationship coach the question women ask me most is “What are men looking for?”  The short answer is a woman who loves herself.  And the long answer is what I'm going to fill you in on.  

It’s not really about what you look like.  Or what a man thinks of you.  It’s not about what he wants, or likes or does.  It’s all about you!  It’s about what you think.  What you feel.  And what you choose.  It’s about truly knowing you are fabulous, (everyone is) and not settling for anyone who isn’t smart enough to recognize your fabulousness.  

We’re all mind readers in a sense because energy is contagious.  Whatever you’re thinking or feeling about yourself on the inside will be the energy you project on the outside.  You are what you think you are.  And therefore what everyone else thinks you are too.  So if you’re thinking “He’d never be interested in me,” that’s why he’s not.  And if you’re thinking “I can’t keep a man,” that’s why you can’t.  

Your thoughts create your feelings.  Then your feelings cause you to act.  Or react.  Your actions produce your results.  So if you want a different result, it really is as simple as changing your thinking.  Of course I realize that’s easier said than done.  That’s why I’m here to help.   

Start by asking yourself what you’re really looking for.  Forget about what a man might want.  In fact forget about men all together for now.  This is about you.  Take a good long look at yourself, beyond just the reflection you see in the mirror.  Look into your heart, and your mind.  What do you see?  Do you like who you are?  Are you comfortable with you?  What do you really want?  None of these questions have anything to do with a man.  But when you find happiness for yourself in the answers, men will be very attracted to you.  And fall head over heels in love....forever.

Since Site Launch on November 8, 2008 

Claiming Your Power     

1. Are You Giving Away Your Power?............................5
2. What Exactly Are Boundaries?....................................8

Things That Diminish Your Power     

3. What are you Thinking?..............................................20
4. Your Imagination is your Enemy...............................23
5. The Only Thing You Have to Fear is Fear itself.......26   
6. Put a Breathalyzer on your Blackberry.....................31 

Using Your Power to Get a Man     

7.   Your Appearance.......................................................34
8.   Get Him to Ask You Out............................................37
9.   Handling the First Date..............................................40
10. Sex Can Make You Stupid.........................................42

Red Flags     

11.  The Deal-Breakers....................................................47
12.  The Grass Can be Greener......................................53

Happily Ever After     

13.  Love............................................................................56
14.  Communication.........................................................58
15.  Commonality.............................................................62
16.  My Final Thoughts....................................................69

About the Author    70

Start taking action toward the relationship of your dreams!  
Get & Keep the Relationship You Want!
It's All About You!   will also teach Women:
It's All About You!  is a Quick & Easy 70 page 
MUST READ for Relationship Success!
Donna has been seen on...
Photo by Ron Rinaldi
I think your book is wonderful! 
I started reading it and couldn't walk away 
from my computer so decided to just finish 
it in one sitting. 

It really helps me to see things in a new light. 
I especially liked the chapter about communicating via email/text/phone and the "red flags" section. I found myself nodding my head over and over again. It all makes so much sense and is very enlightening.  

Thank you for all your helpful advice!
P.L.  28 Year Old Female, New Jersey

Listen to Donna on LA Talk Radio 
 Listen Now - It's All About You!


Available on Kindle for only 
For more information or technical support email: 
I learned a lot about boundaries... 

I like it when you wrote "go along to get along", that's true in both men and women, people who'll do anything to be accepted by others when they share nothing in common with them. 

And rescue others, I can relate to that with some past relationships. 

I do agree that if sex does happen too soon sometimes without really knowing the person, that's not good. 

Overall, I like it. 
J.A.   37 Year Old Male,  New York 

Common Problems in a Relationship -- powered by
I really enjoyed your book and found it very useful as a reminder of who I am attracting romantically and why.  I cannot thank you enough.  I can honestly say I am now attracting much nicer more spiritually based type women who are sincere and friendly 
and goal oriented.  

This book has helped me gain a greater insight and understanding, not just in relationships but how I view myself and thoughts when I am dating.  I now have a much clearer picture of what I am looking for when it comes to women and dating.  

I will read this book over from time to time because I believe it is a valuable tool for life and will help me find and have long lasting healthy romantic relationships.  

Thank you. 

N.A.  34 Year Old Male, New Jersey
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